not to get too deep on main but did anyone else have such deeply rooted issues with their self worth for so long that they thought as a kid/teen that their only redeeming feature was being “low maintenance” and now as an adult you give yourself guilt pangs asking for any more than the barest minimum in virtually any relationship because asking for things might negate your only good quality which is just “doesn’t ask for things”
age gaps aren’t inherently bad between adults, but they are incredibly suspect in instances where one party has significantly more agency and experience due to their age. a thirty year old dating a forty year old, for instance, isn’t all that big a deal. but an eighteen year old should be VERY suspicious of a thirty year old wanting to get with them. they’ve had twelve years to establish themselves as an adult. an eighteen year old has had maybe a few months to do so.
i’m saying this as a person who briefly dated a thirty year old at age 19 (it wasn’t good lol), and also as a person with happily married parents who have a 12 year age gap. the difference is that my mom was in her thirties when she met my dad; she’d had plenty of time to find a career and a name for herself in the world.
stay safe, love urself, try to make good decisions but don’t beat yourself up if you’ve ever been the victim of an unbalanced or abusive relationship
I need yall to understand that healthy 30 year olds look at 19-year-olds and see kids. Not in a demeaning way – but in a way that automatically removes that 19-year-old from romantic consideration. And even if you “look very mature for your age,” a healthy 30 year old will learn you are 19 and back out of that crush at 90 mph no matter how good your contour game is.
You either hate Nazis or you’re on their side it’s easy as that you can’t be morally grey on this
You can’t even say something like “I’m not into politics” or even the #woke version “I’m not educated enough on this matter to have a side” or something because even children know Nazis Are, like, Bad
For ppl asking why she’s an anti black, anti Semite. She has used the n word and compared her depression to the holocaust
Even not counting her poetry her private journals are full of disgusting, overblown antisemitism. She didn’t just use Jewish people for her metaphors, she outright hated them irl and yet decided to use their suffering for her own gain
okay, I’m Jewish and I appreciate this sentiment. and if someone wants to cut out Sylvia Plath, go for it, I get it.
But. by this logic we’d also need to stop reblogging TS Eliot, Oscar Wilde, and Shakespeare quotes. Virginia Woolf wrote anti-semetic things in her private journals, too. If you only want to read classic poets who liked Jews and black people, that’s fine, but like. good luck? Sylvia Plath isn’t an exception.
idk. Tumblr’s attitude of “consume nothing problematic” just doesn’t work if you’re part of a group that most culture-creators over the last few centuries have hated by default. For people actually in those groups, it’s not like the only two choices are 1) worship authors who hate you or 2) completely cut the majority of literature out of your life. You learn to read critically and acknowledge flaws where you find them.
anyway, as a Jewish woman, I would much rather see a version of this post that said “please read Sylvia Plath poetry critically because she’s anti black and antisemetic” than just “stop reblogging Sylvia Plath poetry.”
IMO, reblog Sylvia Plath all you want, just not unthinkingly.
I’m reblogging this now because I’m seeing anti-Virginia Woolf discourse lately due to the antisemitism in her journals and like… as a Jewish person who loves Virginia Woolf’s writing and an English teacher who knows that pretty much every writer of the classics is Problematic just…chill pls
The point isn’t to never consume media that isn’t ideologically pure. That’s never the point. Were that the goal, we would NEVER be able to consume any media. Nothing is ever ideologically pure, especially as time goes on and our social consciousness expands.
We should be telling people instead, “Be critical as you read this person’s work. They held bigoted views. Understand how that is reflected in their work, and be mindful of it. Be critical, be thoughtful”
Compelling others to not engage with something at ALL on ideological grounds is in the same vein as burning books. We should be compelling others to be critical and mindful, not narrow and willfully ignorant.
“Understand how it is reflected in their work, and be mindful of it.”
“it’s that time of the year when I get colds for no apparent reason again” have some Clairitin hon
But also we’re not becoming allergic to everything nowadays like certain white moms fear. Allergies have always existed. They were just talked about differently
Like “oh clams always ~turn my stomach~”. Or “what a pity he was taken from us at age 5”
“Well we didn’t have all this fancy chronic illness stuff in the Olden Days, what did people do then??”
They died, Ashleigh.Â
This is a picture tracking bullet holes on Allied planes that encountered Nazi anti-aircraft fire in WW2.
At first, the military wanted to reinforce those areas, because obviously that’s where the ground crews observed the most damage on returning planes. Until Hungarian-born Jewish mathematician Abraham Wald pointed out that this was the damage on the planes that made it home, and the Allies should armor the areas where there are no dots at all, because those are the places where the planes won’t survive when hit. This phenomenon is called survivorship bias, a logic error where you focus on things that survived when you should really be looking at things that didn’t.
We have higher rates of mental illness now? Maybe that’s because we’ve stopped killing people for being “possessed” or “witches.” Higher rate of allergies? Anaphylaxis kills, and does so really fast if you don’t know what’s happening. Higher claims of rape? Maybe victims are less afraid of coming forward. These problems were all happening before, but now we’ve reinforced the medical and social structures needed to help these people survive. And we still have a long way to go.
i just witnessed a 12 year old punch another 12 year old for the chance to see breasts. and not just a light tap. this was a sucker punch. if these kids arent smart enough to google “hot girl tity” they arent smart enough to fake the sound of skin hitting skin. i have found my true calling. i am not going to heaven
